Kumba the King

Motha-fuckin KING!!

Kumba was king. Kumba was king of the motherfucking apes bitches!! And anyone who disagreed, Kumba would personally beat the shit out of, just to prove them wrong. That was how he had gotten to the top, that was how he became king: beating the shit out of all the other apes. Now that he was king, someone even made this awesome badge of him with his awesome crown. He had all his subjects wear it to remind them that he was their king. After a while of being king Kumba realized it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Sure he could beat his chest, pummel anyone who disagreed with him, and bellow as loud as he wanted, but he could no longer go prancing through the jungle like he could before he was king; he could no longer dress up in silly costumes and go around singing ridiculous songs. These things were just not kingly. No self-respecting king would be caught dead in a pirate costume running around the jungle singing "I don't wanna be a chicken I don't wanna be a duck" It wasn't seemly. Eventually beating his chest and the other apes lost its glamour, lost its appeal. Kumba no longer felt very kingly, but he had to stay king because no one had beaten the shit out of him yet. Frankly, he grew bored. Day in day out he could be found, sitting in his kingly throne, staring at the wall, bored out of his mind. 

God I'm sooooo bored.

He thought about letting someone beat him up, then deliberately losing so he could romp around in funny hats singing limericks again. He even we so far as to start the fight, but then he got cought up in it all and ended up beating the shit out of the other ape anyway. Well that won't work, Kumba would have to think of something else.