Science Made Fun

Episode 2 of the highly rated, hit tv series, science made fun! Months in the works, it is now made available to any who wishes to see it, exclusively from Spastic Ramblings:

Ever Wonder?

Ever wonder how the three crazy guys are in person? Here is an answer.

This here is a truly spastic rambling caught on tape of myself..... rambling.... spasticly....

Fenwick Part Five

In previous installments (Parts One, Two, Three and Four, they are awesome you really should read them before you read this) of Fenwick an Ordinary Guy in Extraordinary Circumstances, Fenwick, the titular character, awoke in a strange place without pants. He explored said strange place and met a strange man, and found a strange bottle, and was confused.


Fins leaned closer, “Between you and me, I think they’re skimmin’ of the top, exploiting the workers if you know what I mean. They say they take a share of your inspiration or summin’ like that every month savin it for your retirement or something. I've seen my pension statement though and I know I've been more creative than that” 
Fins slurped his coffee angrily. Fenwick looked at the bottle he had taken.

“Say, um, you don't happen to know where this comes from do you?”

“What that?!”

“Um, yes”

“Where'd you get that?”

“uh, I found it?” Fenwick said, asking permission.

“Did you now.”

“Yes?” Fenwick replied, getting a little uncomfortable now. “Look all I want are my pants, you understand?”

“Oh completely, you'd better give me that bottle.” 

“Uh, ok here” he said, slowly handing it over.

“Thanks man” said Fin as he poured out the entire thing into his cofffee cup.

“Ah," he sighed, taking a gulp "That hits the spot.  Now as I was saying, their exploiting the workers, skimmin' off the top y'know. Takin it fer themselves. Yeah, but me an' some other guys have caught on, y'hear? We've got, like, a little plan right?”

“ Uh sure” Fenwick had no intention of getting caught up in a socialist uprising against the man,

“Hey listen, man, thanks for uh helping and stuff, I think I can find my way around now.”

“Hey wait,” said Fin as Fenwick tried to surreptitiously slip out the door 
“Let me tell you our plan!”

“I've really gotta go now” Fenwick said, and hurried off down the corridor. He walked like a very worried man who had no idea where he was going, because he was, and he didn't. No matter, he walked very fast for a very long time until he ran out of breath. Then he lay gasping on the floor for a while. When he could breathe again he got up and found himself facing a door. A very strange and peculiar door. It went all the way to the ceiling and was bright red. Around the edges it was filigreed with gold wire, intricate, delicate work. At intervals of two inches there were indentations, little divots in the wood, each colored a different radioactive neon color. The door handle was equally bizarre: it was a wolfs snarling head wrought out of iron, but it was upside down. On the door was a sign "Please, enter. You are not welcome." Fenwick was going to walk away, just as quickly as he walked here, but the door suddenly burst open. The most raucous sounds and most incessant noises Fenwick had ever heard issued from the open door. What on earth is going on in their? he thought. He soon found out. A rhinoceros dressed in the finest dinner jacket came hurtling out of the room. In the process of this tremendous exit Fenwick was knocked to the floor. From his low vantage point he could see into the room. My God! he thought.

A Little Thought Experiment

Imagine this:

Wearing this:

charging at you from an open door, the most peculiar door you have seen. That is just an approximation of what Fenwick experienced.

Did You Know?

Please note: Humans and Dinosaurs never coexisted, this is the best image I could find.
 Apparently no one has imagined T-rex lumberjacks before

Please note: even though this image shows man and dinosaurs
living together this never actually happened, this image is only
meant to give you an idea, an inkling of how mighty, how
impressive and how awesome the dinosaur log structures were

Please note: Native Americans and Cowboys did not exist at
the time of the dinosaurs, this image is meant to provide an
example of how awesome dinosaur dwellings were. Just imagine
the Indians and Cowboys are Dinosaurs

Many people believe that dinosaurs were just large lizards (or birds or reptiles or whatever, we are NOT having this discussion here). In actuality dinosaurs are (I meant to type "were" my bad [I'm pretending to write on a typewriter, so I can't delete anything {no backspace on a typewriter :)} (LIES ALL LIES I'M ON A LAPTOP THERE is A BACKSPACE) wow that got off topic fast)]) were much more advanced than we give them credit for. Many dinosaurs, including the king of the lizards the mighty tyranosaurus Rex (I'm going to pretend this is the actual scientific classification for T-rex) were lumberjacks. That's right, you read that right, I said "lumberjacks" like in the Monty Python sketch*. The fact that some dinosaur lumberjacks were transvestites only goes to show how advanced they really were. Yes that is right, many dinosaur lumberjacks

were transvestites, especially the T-rex (or should I say T-regina [that's "queen" in Latin, for all you uneducated neanderthals {and "rex" is king in Latin, therefore Tyrannosaurus Rex is the King of the Dinosaurs and Tyrannosaurus-regina is the Queen of the dinosaurs}]).  These lumberjack dinosaurs felled the mighty trees of the mesozoic, the mighty  Redwood, the not-so-mighty pine, and the majestic monkey tree (it existed, trust me) They felled these trees and built with them impressive log structures. Mighty lodges, and kingly castles. Unfortunately, about 65 million years ago aliens got wind of what was happening and, deciding the lumberjack T-rex/reginas (and all the other dinosaur lumberjacks, I'm just mentioning the T-rex lumberjacks because they are a prime example of dinosaur lumberjacks) were going to eventually ruin the earth, the earth which was their beautiful jewel, their wonderful garden among the stars. So they sent an asteroid that demolished the dinosaurs, both the regular dinosaurs and the lumberjacks. Alas the asteroid caused worldwide fires which burned down all evidence of the impressive structures the dinosaurs had built.

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