Part one: Dusty the the Gnome Milliner.
It was simple: Dusty made hats for gnomes. It was a simple life but a hard one. It requires extreme precision so that the hat does not slip off or become too tight. It is very important also that the hats are not too tight as gnome heads are soft and are prone to circulation problems if scrunched into an ill fitting hat. Some of the side effect of a hat that is too tight is uncontrollable giggling, loss of balance, hat hair followed by death. Dusty saw correct hat making technique as his duty in life, and he was proud of his work. Dusty cared for the gnomes and in turn they helped him with chores. One day a knock came on his door.
He opened the door to find a stately looking gnome in front of him. Jewel encrusted red velvet shoes and a flowing purple cape garbed his body. Dusty kneeled so that they were face to face.
"Hello sir." Dusty said.
"Sire." said the gnome.
"Sorry, sorry. Hello sire. What can I do for you." Dusty said.
"Sire." said the gnome.
"Sorry, sorry. Hello sire. What can I do for you." Dusty said.
"I require a hat" said the gnome.
"You've come to the right place! I can make you any kind of hat you would like."
"It is a hat for a very special occasion!"
"I will do my best!"
And so the Gnome King left Dusty with some more specific instructions and Dust got to work.
"I will need to measure your head. I hope that is not a problem,"
"Not at all," Said the Gnome King. And he removed his flowing purple cape with the grace befitting a King of the Gnomes, and hung it carefully on the cape stand. The Gnome King sat regally on a stool while Dusty bustled too and fro with his measuring tape, occasionally stopping to write something down or ask the King a question.
"Sire, how long do you intend to wear this hat? Will you sleep with it on? How often do you eat mushrooms?" and other pertinent questions.
After about three quarters of an hour of this Dusty had all that he needed and showed the King of the Gnomes out.
"Good-bye Sire! Come back in seven days time and your hat will be ready!"
The Gnome King took his leave, swishing his cape in proper regal pompery. The last Dusty saw of his Highness was the small head bobbing over the crest of a gentle slope. But Dusty would not be the last to see the Gnome King's shinny head, for beyond the hill, in the yellow meadow, the gnome milliner's son was sitting poised in the grass. Fredrick was his name and he was pretending to be a tiger. Earlier Fredrick had asked father what tiger's ate.
"Well... they eat all kind of things, some of which you eat." His father said as he was brushing off hats.
"Like millet?" Fredrick asked licking his lips.
"No... they eat meat, like rabbits. They catch them and take them home for dinner."
Now Fredrick was on the hunt, ready for the slightest disturbance in the serene glass. Then he heard a rustle, he muscles tensed and we he saw the small figure he leaped forth and pounced his prey. Pinned to the ground by his two small hands was the dazed, then indignant Gnome King.
It is important to note that regardless of their size and their squishy vulnerable heads gnomes are very strong. Frederick and the gnome king stared at each other for the longest three seconds of Frederick's life. It was then that the king let loose a cry and grabbed Frederick by the nostrils.
"AUUGH" cried Frederick "Father the rabbit bit me!"
Dusty was nowhere to be found.
"Fool! I am no rabbit! I am king of the gnomes and you shall pay for your insolence!"
with a flourish of his cape he cast a spell over the boy that made him fall limp.
"You shall come with me and learn proper respect...boy!" he said with a sour note. He then pulled a whistle from his pocket and blew one long shrill note.
Six gnomes stepped from their hiding spots in the shadows.
"Carry him." said the king
The gnomes lifted him with ease and they set off galumphing down the trail with the boy in tow, dragged by his ankles behind them. As they dragged they sang this song:
The song went on and the gnomes added new verses as they thought of them. Frederick grew used to constant bumps and bruises as the gnomes skipped ever on but could hardly bear the incessant shrill singing; the high pitched voices drilling into his brain. At last they stopped and put him down. More importantly they stopped singing.
"What should we do with him" asked one of the gnomes.
"I think we should jump on him till he pops!"
"I think we should slowly roast him over the fire!"
"I think we should let the rabbits eat him alive!"
"I think we should gouge out his eyes and rip out his guts; and make him eat them!"
"I think--"
"ENOUGH!" said the Gnome King. "He is MINE. And I shall do with him as I please!" he continued with a gruesome smile.
All the gnomes fell silent at the sudden outburst of the king and hung their heads in shame. They should have known better; the king never shares.
"It is a hat for a very special occasion!"
"I will do my best!"
And so the Gnome King left Dusty with some more specific instructions and Dust got to work.
"I will need to measure your head. I hope that is not a problem,"
"Not at all," Said the Gnome King. And he removed his flowing purple cape with the grace befitting a King of the Gnomes, and hung it carefully on the cape stand. The Gnome King sat regally on a stool while Dusty bustled too and fro with his measuring tape, occasionally stopping to write something down or ask the King a question.
"Sire, how long do you intend to wear this hat? Will you sleep with it on? How often do you eat mushrooms?" and other pertinent questions.
After about three quarters of an hour of this Dusty had all that he needed and showed the King of the Gnomes out.
"Good-bye Sire! Come back in seven days time and your hat will be ready!"
The Gnome King took his leave, swishing his cape in proper regal pompery. The last Dusty saw of his Highness was the small head bobbing over the crest of a gentle slope. But Dusty would not be the last to see the Gnome King's shinny head, for beyond the hill, in the yellow meadow, the gnome milliner's son was sitting poised in the grass. Fredrick was his name and he was pretending to be a tiger. Earlier Fredrick had asked father what tiger's ate.
"Well... they eat all kind of things, some of which you eat." His father said as he was brushing off hats.
"Like millet?" Fredrick asked licking his lips.
"No... they eat meat, like rabbits. They catch them and take them home for dinner."
It is important to note that regardless of their size and their squishy vulnerable heads gnomes are very strong. Frederick and the gnome king stared at each other for the longest three seconds of Frederick's life. It was then that the king let loose a cry and grabbed Frederick by the nostrils.
"AUUGH" cried Frederick "Father the rabbit bit me!"
Dusty was nowhere to be found.
"Fool! I am no rabbit! I am king of the gnomes and you shall pay for your insolence!"
with a flourish of his cape he cast a spell over the boy that made him fall limp.
"You shall come with me and learn proper respect...boy!" he said with a sour note. He then pulled a whistle from his pocket and blew one long shrill note.
Six gnomes stepped from their hiding spots in the shadows.
"Carry him." said the king
The gnomes lifted him with ease and they set off galumphing down the trail with the boy in tow, dragged by his ankles behind them. As they dragged they sang this song:
"Ho ho ho
gnomes do go
drag-dragging the boy-o!
ha ha ha!
oh what fun!
bumping noggins over logs
dragging bones o'er rocks and stones!
and ho ho ho
gnomes we go
drag-dragging the boy-o!
The song went on and the gnomes added new verses as they thought of them. Frederick grew used to constant bumps and bruises as the gnomes skipped ever on but could hardly bear the incessant shrill singing; the high pitched voices drilling into his brain. At last they stopped and put him down. More importantly they stopped singing.
"What should we do with him" asked one of the gnomes.
"I think we should jump on him till he pops!"
"I think we should slowly roast him over the fire!"
"I think we should let the rabbits eat him alive!"
"I think we should gouge out his eyes and rip out his guts; and make him eat them!"
"I think--"
"ENOUGH!" said the Gnome King. "He is MINE. And I shall do with him as I please!" he continued with a gruesome smile.
All the gnomes fell silent at the sudden outburst of the king and hung their heads in shame. They should have known better; the king never shares.
***
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