Sunday, April 17, 2011

The Bonobos Get At My Computer


Authors note: Well, I had started a marvelous post about the most fascinating subject, but then I was called away by the seductive powers of my inner workings, specifically my bowels and bladder. When I returned, a while later, my stupendous post was gone. In its place was a jumble of randomly grouped letters. I yelled my frustration from the mountain top, I cursed the bonobos (for obviously it was they who had done this, there is no-one else in my little tiny apartment) with the most vile and repulsive curses I could think of. I burst into a fit of rage, smashing things, ripping papers, throwing things off my balcony, I might have killed some bonobos (I am not saying I did, I am saying that perhaps, in my impulsive outburst, I might have possibly killed some hypothetical bonobos). Eventually, although it must have been no less than a couple hours, the anger and frustration left me and I took a closer look at what they had written. Just so you know, bonobos are terrible spellers, I don't think they spelled a single thing right. So, obviously, I hit the spell-check button. What I got was certainly not the complete works of Shakespeare, the bonobos did not have that much time, but it was interesting, it had a sort of poetic flow to it, and perhaps can be considered a poem, of sorts. So I decided to post that instead. I have not added any punctuation except where the bonobos had put it, the capitals are also theirs, as are the paragraphs. Lastly, I'll have you know, all the words they used are real words, if you don't believe me look them up.


Steamfitter Metaphoric a gyrate jiggle Elephant arm leg a gym mass oilfield Bolshevik I salvager real curriculum The rump gravity attract slithery flagmen


Fie goalkeeper homological verb our misnamed bootleg martyrs allowing biometric malice melange inserts eschew formulaic fecund  divided gratification on salad lashed compartmentalization multinomial arsons A cornflake beheld headquarter audiology cinematographic doorkeeper electroshock pence holographic addles merchant changeability lovemaking icecap excavation hirsuteness an


codger Kevlar woe vulgarize walk Glasgow flatterer I hibiscus liquefy circumvent old dyslexic hornets overpopulous we


silk owl kickoff signifies kidney alike Yukon elk also a silverware overfed adult clericalism Velcro nag tuna an oaf hurt rare Bermuda gainful foists hubs gag hag badges gab infotainment nigh an engine; Novocaine kiln energizes ginkgo along


folksy joke vinyl say lands flask flagstaff astraddle knower kvetch walkover roe sphincter selectiveness Balkan ban debonair napkin and jackknife dockside nebula beggar monsieur go fib undergo aubergine a fleetingness hake Lovecraft malformed valve snowball proven more magnanimosity attractant indefatigableness lank doglegging toga fingernail onlooking ale a blockage cambric narc

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