(In part one we are introduced to our protagonist and his struggle with pantslessness. He meets a suspicious character that he at first suspects of pant related kleptomania. The mysterious man with the clipboard guides our hero to the enlightening/befuddling realization that he himself may have been responsible for the absence of his pants. What new drama will transpire in the next chapter of this story?)
"So, now that we have put that little misunderstanding behind us, how are you feeling." Said the intelligent man with the clipboard.
"Uh, well, okay I guess, it's a little cold without pants though, are you sure they aren't here? "
"Yes I am sure"
"Well then, I think I have some at home, let me go get them"
"I am afraid I cannot let you do that"
"Why?"
"I am afraid I can not tell you that"
"What?!? Where the hell am I? Why the hell not!"
"Now now sir, I need you to calm down, I am sure we can figure this out."
"Calm down? Calm down! I'd like to see you calm if you just woke up in a strange place having no idea where you were WITH OUT PANTS" He screamed, not so persuasively this time.
The other just nodded, said he understood and wrote something else down, double underlined.
Fenwick took a look around.
There was a bird cage with a large exotic looking stuffed bird in the corner, the walls were a plush purple and the candelabras that lit the room were made from what appeared to be antler horns. Four leaf clovers grew from the floor pushing up between the thick shag carpet. It was a truly weird place. Fenwick was occupied for a minute by the weirdness of the place before he figured out what was going on.
"oh!" he said knowingly "I remember"
He quickly tried to remember whatever it was while the man turned the page.
"I remember" he said stubbornly again.
"the thing…..I had a pen…..I signed something…..the contract, oh god, I had totally forgot about it.
The contract was something he had indeed signed. It was absolutely entirely unforgivably stupid thing to forget about but Fenwick, being one of those people that routinely lost his pants this is really no surprise.
"Um, I don't mean to sound uh greedy or anything but I seem to remember the contract saying something about a large sum of money?"
"Yes, we will get to that soon. Now that you have remembered the contract the first thing I'm going to have you do is come with me."
"where are we going?"
"well now that you remember the contract I am obligated to answer your question. We are going to the bedopping room."
"the what"
"bedopping room"
"yeah I heard you the first time, I'm just a little confused as to what that is."
" oh ok"
"so what is it?"
"It's the room you will bedop in."
"Oh that clears it up I guess"
it did not clear it up. In fact it only brought more questions, but feeling a little foolish for asking such a silly question before, Fenwick bit his tongue and stayed quiet as the man of intelligent caliber gently guided him through the many hallways and doors towards the so called bedopping room.
The man guided him down the hallway leading him more roughly by the hand now.
"now repeat after me" he said with great authority " I bedop, you bedop , he, she, it, beddops
"what?" Fenwick said
"pay attention, this is important"
Fenwick spaced out as the man continued.
"….they bedoppded, and they beddoping. Understand?"
"no"
"good"
The adventure continues in part three...
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