It's 2011 and you know what that means. Next year will be 2012....THE END OF THE WORLD! As this dark time approaches we can only wonder what THE apocalypse will be like. As Whitman, Stephen, and Xander sat on their back porch playing chuck-cards-at-the-cat and drinking shots of water they stopped to look up at the darkening sky. The clouds were pooling in brilliant yet terrifying colors. Stephen remarked that the last apocalypse wasn't that bad. Then their minds wandered back to the last time the earth ended... in 2010 and remembered how they manage to pass the time when everything seemed so bleak. Like most earth ending events, the apocalypse invariably means hordes of zombies roaming around ready to eat you. This can be very stressful for a person
so what better way to relieve stress than to play your favorite sport. Unfortunately this can be tough seeing as zombies tend to gravitate towards any loud noises and then, as I said earlier, eat you.
We do not recommend giving up your favorite sport for a mere zombie apocalypse but it is reasonable to assume that alterations to the rules of certain games should be made to allow for the possibility of zombie intrusion. Here are some suggestions:
1. If you normally go cow tipping, you might consider an alternative: Zombie Tipping (Cows might be a little hard to find anyway, seeing as they might have been eaten by zombies) . This alternative is a little more exciting than cow tipping, because there is the possibility of being eaten. Play and laugh as the zombies struggle to get back up, possibly with only two or three limbs but don't linger to long; even though zombies are not that fast one bite and you're a goner.
2.If you are an avid golfer you might consider Zombie Golf. Instead of hitting the tiny little white ball into a tiny little hole that is impossibly far away, you use your golf clubs to send grenades flying into zombies. If the zombies get too close golf clubs are the ultimate zombie head basher. Remember, even though it may not seem like it, you might not be the last person on earth, so don't forget to yell FORE.
so what better way to relieve stress than to play your favorite sport. Unfortunately this can be tough seeing as zombies tend to gravitate towards any loud noises and then, as I said earlier, eat you.
We do not recommend giving up your favorite sport for a mere zombie apocalypse but it is reasonable to assume that alterations to the rules of certain games should be made to allow for the possibility of zombie intrusion. Here are some suggestions:
1. If you normally go cow tipping, you might consider an alternative: Zombie Tipping (Cows might be a little hard to find anyway, seeing as they might have been eaten by zombies) . This alternative is a little more exciting than cow tipping, because there is the possibility of being eaten. Play and laugh as the zombies struggle to get back up, possibly with only two or three limbs but don't linger to long; even though zombies are not that fast one bite and you're a goner.
2.If you are an avid golfer you might consider Zombie Golf. Instead of hitting the tiny little white ball into a tiny little hole that is impossibly far away, you use your golf clubs to send grenades flying into zombies. If the zombies get too close golf clubs are the ultimate zombie head basher. Remember, even though it may not seem like it, you might not be the last person on earth, so don't forget to yell FORE.
3. Zombie Bowling might be an option for you if you're not afraid to move it outside. Try to find a group of zombies, this isn't that hard as they tend to move in hoards. Fire off some shots, if you want to conserve ammo then shouting works too but not as effectively, once you have their attention if you're not already in your car hop in and drive away but not to fast because you don't want them to loose you. Drive in an alley way, this way when the zombies follow you they are packed together. Next step on the gas of your heavily armed apocalypse bus, or other such vehicle, and drive into the hoard. See how many you can take out. If there are any left standing the rear machine gun can take them out. If armored armed apocalypse buses are not available in your area hummers work quite well, as do armoured VW Bugs.
4.If sports aren't your thing and you'd rather watch fireworks don't worry you won't miss out on the fun. Pick up your nearest flamethrower. Find some zombies. Llike I said before this should be pretty easy, but pick ones that are in a largish group. Let it rip. Flamethrower the nearest zombie. If you have done a good job he should be making agitated noises and moving away. He will bump into other zombies, c'mon that's what zombies do, it may start a chain reaction. See how many you can light on fire with one torching. Similar to zombie tipping it is fun to watch the zombies hobble around helplessly as they make groaning or mooing noises.
4.If sports aren't your thing and you'd rather watch fireworks don't worry you won't miss out on the fun. Pick up your nearest flamethrower. Find some zombies. Llike I said before this should be pretty easy, but pick ones that are in a largish group. Let it rip. Flamethrower the nearest zombie. If you have done a good job he should be making agitated noises and moving away. He will bump into other zombies, c'mon that's what zombies do, it may start a chain reaction. See how many you can light on fire with one torching. Similar to zombie tipping it is fun to watch the zombies hobble around helplessly as they make groaning or mooing noises.
5.If you happen to have a trebuchet and are out of ammo, don't fret! Just subdue your nearest zombie and load 'er up! See if you can take out other zombies with your Zombie ammo. This is a lot more complex than it sounds as luring the zombie in your catapult in the first place requires quite a bit of skill but the results are worth it, laugh as your zombie flies across the sky, moaning in terror. To make this a little more interesting first douse the zombie in gasoline, lite it and away it goes. The fun never ends in a zombie apocalypse.
The friends smile as they come out of their reminises, they looked at each other with shining eyes---
"I can't wait"
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